Different Not Less

This past Friday, my family and I attended Chocolate Fantasia. This event was hosted by the Copperas Cove Independent School District and held at the Copperas Cove Civic Center, in Copperas Cove, Texas. The event was to showcase artwork created by students who receive special education services. One of the artists was my son, Alexander, who receives services for autism and intellectual disability disorder. (He will be graduating high school this year!) My son, Christopher, who is in middle school, participated in the event as a food server for his “Farm-to-Table” class.

Doors opened at 5:30PM. Although we had to wait in line to check in (and my mother to show proof of buying her ticket online), it was nice to see so many people there to support the artists. As you walked through the room, there was so much to see. Valentine’s Day decorations were throughout the room, giving a fun and festive vibe. There was a place for guests to purchase raffle tickets once you entered the event. Along one wall was an area to take pictures with picture frames and props. In the very back was a beverage bar with bottled water and alcohol-free champagne.

In the center of the room, there were tables. Some of the tables were filled with chocolate desserts. Serving the desserts were students from the high school culinary class and the middle school “Farm-to-Table” class. These students looked very professional in their attire and wore gloves while serving the food. (Great job, Kiddos!)

Other tables were draped with black tablecloths and had festive centerpieces in the middle of them. Each of these tables were specifically for displaying one piece of artwork. Next to the artwork was the artist’s picture and biography, allowing those attending the event to get to know the artists. Also on the table was a box with a hole in the middle for guests to place a raffle ticket in if they wanted a chance to win the artwork.

It was fun to walk around the room while snacking on chocolate and looking at each painting. It was fascinating to see how no two paintings were alike. They were all very creative and nicely done. The artists all did an amazing job.

The event ran a bit late due to technical difficulties (the microphone was missing), which had guests and artists a little concerned; however, those running the event worked diligently to get things back on track.

Around 7PM, the artists lined up and one by one were introduced onto the stage. Their name, what school they attended, and which artwork was theirs was announced. The crowd cheered loudly for each artist. Seeing the big bright smiles on the artists’ faces brought an even bigger smile to mine.

This was such a great event! I’m so glad that our family was able to experience this opportunity and we look forward to attending next year’s Chocolate Fantasia!

---

**Chocolate Fantasia flier was provided via Copperas Cove Independent School District**

*Students lined up on stage are from S.C. Lee Middle School’s “Farm-to-Table” Class.*

Is there a rule?

I actually had to tell myself, today, that I would be a responsible, productive adult! (YUCK) Is there a rule saying that I have to be this adult once my kids are at school? Can’t I just sit around and think about all of the things I should be doing.? Instead of doing them, I can just imagine that I’ve done them? I think this should be a new rule implemented for adults immediately. I’m just saying. But then I suppose that there are some adults that will take this to the extreme. Their houses will end up being taped off by biohazard tape from the lack of cleaning. Lots of houses will end up without water/sewage, electric, etc. because bills aren’t paid. Maybe there should be a requirement to this rule. (HA)

 

So much to do! So little motivation!!!

 

Did I mention that I quit drinking soda and coffee? Cold turkey at that. Next is going to be limiting my salt intake drastically. I don’t use much salt but when I do…maaaaaaan, I end up looking like that marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. Like seriously. Ridiculous. What else am I giving up on? Hmm….I feel like there is something else, but nothing comes to my mind at the moment.

My angry Samoan (hubby) found a Bowflex, in perfect condition, and get this…it was…FREE! OMG! So, I’ve been putting it to some use. I took two days off, because the Bowflex whooped my ass. But in my defense, I did workout on it five times in one day. Which was stupid on my part, considering I hadn’t worked out that hard in a long time. Today my workouts begin again but I will have to either limit the intensity or limit the amount of times I workout on it. Any of you out there personal trainers that can offer advice? Or any of you work out plastic surgery offices or weight loss spas? I could use some tips from any of you. I’ve been debating on trying that cool sculpting. I just looked it up so I could post a link for you all to see what the hell I am talking about. Apparently, calling it ‘fat freezer’ isn’t appropriate for me to use. There is actually a medical term for it- Cryolipolysis (a non-invasive body contouring treatment used to reduce fat cell volume by freezing).

Either way, this is something that I’m curious to learn more about. Any of you ever tried it?

I bet I could save a ton of money, if I could just become friends with this guy!!!!!

---

 

Parenting Log: Day ‘too many to count’

 

My son with special needs: autism, mood disorder, schizophrenia and puberty! Yes, I feel that puberty should be listed as a mental illness for children. Same thing with menopause. I mean, look at how your mind shifts! Anyway…He’s been doing better. He goes on his tangents of wanting to be ‘King Alex’ (his words, not mine). That is the narcissistic personality. That personality/mood drives me crazy. I always have to ask him, “Which one of us is the parent?” To which he usually responds with, “My house, my rules!!!” Um…little boy, that is not how this household works.” (HA)

My youngest got in trouble at school for a drawing. This really surprised me because this is not like him at all. Apparently, the kids were given bags to draw on. My son and his little buddy decided to draw tombstones! However, his little buddy scratched his out at the last moment. My son got busted. He had a tombstone for: dad, mom and baby. He says that wasn’t us. Still creepy. On the other side of the bag threatened anyone who touched his bag. Something along the lines of: If you touch my bag, I will find you and beat you up. I don’t think he’s ever seen the movie Taken, but doesn’t it sound like a clip from that. Ugh. I was so embarrassed and disappointed. Totally out of character.

My face when I learned of the bag drawing!

Him and I had a LONG chat about being appropriate, having integrity, and being self-disciplined. I told him that friends like that aren’t your real friends and will just drag you down. Sad that I have to have this conversation with my 3rd grader. I rather have this conversation now while he’s still willing to listen to me. Don’t want to wait until he’s older and I’m getting phone calls from principals!

I didn’t tell hubby so hopefully he isn’t reading this! If so, sorry, youngest son. You’re probably in even more trouble now! (HA)

 

---

I have a friend who is a blogger. She always writes such long blogs. Her blogs aren’t boring though. I often find myself drawn into them. I wish I was like her. I feel that my blogs are probably used by all of you to read, if you’re having trouble sleeping. (Big Sad Face!)

But hey- at least you’re reading them. 🙂

Happy Reading & XoXo,

S.E.Isaac

Boys. Boys. Boys.

Every morning, I wake up like the wonderful, cheerful Mary Poppins. My sons aren’t always thrilled about getting up and going to school. However, there behavior is tolerable and my patience is maintained.

After school, they have lots of energy bursting from them due to them having to maintain themselves throughout the school day. I allow this to go. It may annoy me, but I make due with it.

Dinner time is when the shift begins. It’s like a full moon, except 365 days a year. My sons are determined to piss each other off at least three million times by the time dinner arrives and ends. My personality shifts between Mrs. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. Just depends on their actions and behavior.

By the time bedtime rolls around, I have become Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations. There is no cheerful Mary Poppins. Jekyll and Hyde have crawled under a rock to hide. The Cruella de Vil me doesn’t start until after explaining/battling my autistic, schizophreniz, mood disorder, hormonal 13 years old why he needs to take a shower every day. The Cruella de Vil me doesn’t start until after explaining/battling my selective hearing eight year old as to why he needs to take a shower, not a bath, AND with soap! Then 8 o’clock rolls around, this is when all electronics get taken away, teeth are brushed, they lay down with lights out and watch tv until 9. Sounds simple right? NOT! This is when everyone wants a drink or something to eat because they’re still hungry! Hungry? (Well, your ass should have eaten all of dinner like I told you to) “Why do I have to brush my teeth every night!?!?!” Because I said so and no one wants to smell nasty ass puppy breath. “I’m not tired. Can I stay up?” No! Go to be for the love of God! I can’t take another moment and need to go back to my side of the house!!!!

At 9 o’clock, Cruella de Vil is still around except her fuse is shorter and her time is precious & limited. I complete the bedtime ritual of turning off the tv, giving them each a hug & kiss, telling them I love them, and high-tailing it to my side of the house, often my bedroom. Most of the time, when I am walking off, my sons are still pleading their case. Mama doesn’t have time for all that! GO TO BED!

Rant over! (HA)

Happy Reading & XoXo,

Mary Poppins, Jekyll, Hyde, De Vil

---

 

SUMMARY OF MY WEEKDAYS:

Morning me ^^^

---

Dinner time me

---

Bedtime me (I don’t smoke though 🙂 )

Shame On Me

 

I don’t know how life keeps slipping past me. Every time I think I have my life together something arises. But I guess that is life, right? It’s shitty- Just for the record.

Ever since the dog attack, my life has seemed to become unraveled. Not completely unraveled. I guess that is the brighter side of things. It’s amazing how one pull of a thread can cause so much damage. Dog attack = depression = slacking off = more depression = slacking off more =reality kicking in = having to bust my ass to catch back up (thus why I haven’t posted in a few days. 😦 )

My wounds mentally and physically are almost all healed. I can sleep through the night without needing a sleep med. I can walk past the doggie door without freaking out. I can listen to dogs barking without looking around. So I am almost 99% functional again. (HA) My arms make people stare. They most likely think that I am a cutter. I have scars all over my forearms. They scarred really weird. However, I am just thankful that I have my life so I will take the scars and the stares ❤

---

Parenthood

I may be going through some depression; however, that cannot stop me from being a mom. Sometimes you just have to suck it up, do what you have to do and cry later. That’s what I’ve been doing. I am open to my kiddos about my heart being broken about the dog. They just don’t know the extent of how it affected me. Does that make sense?

My kiddo with autism, mood disorder and monitored for paranoid Schizophrenia is in a new school here in Las Vegas! This school is amazing. It is a special school for kiddos just like him & it is set up like a vocational school. From Kindergarten all the way to 12th grade these kiddos learn trade skills. For example:

• They have a mini recycling center. It has the temperature, noises, and lights set to how it would be at a real recycling center. There is a trash compactor the kiddos get to operate with supervision. The students at the school are responsible for going through the trash and separating the recyclables. Then they take it to the real recycling center! 🙂
• Culinary/cafe class. Students there get the feel of a food trade. Faculty will go in to buy a cup of coffee. One of the students will be responsible for taking the money & out change if necessary. Then there are other students prepping the food, cooking, using the industrial dishwasher, bussing tables, being a hostess/host. Then they take field trips to a sponsoring catering company that will let those students use their learned skills in the outside world.
• There is a garden center. All the plants that the students grow are edible so if a kiddo slips a piece in their mouth, they are still safe. (I love the fact the school took that into consideration) The students from the culinary class will place an order and the garden center students will have to gather the plants and then deliver them to the culinary class. Where the culinary student has to sign a delivery sheet 🙂
• Laundry Center- Culinary students have to wear a uniform so after their class they have to wash the uniform
• Independent living. They have a kitchenette, dining room set up & the student will invite a staff member to come over. then the student prepares a snack or meal. they have a conversation then the staff leaves at the end & the student cleans up the kitchen and dining room area. This is great for independence and social skills
• Graphic designs (i.e. yearbook, magazines, fixing school website)
• Office Center- Students get to learn to do clerical skills

I began summarizing the list because there are so many details to each of these classes/centers.

The school has sponsors like a popular culinary company here in Las Vegas, Goodwill, the trash company, and a lot of other companies in the trades that the students learn. These companies allow the high school students to go there and volunteer. Then when they are seniors, the transitioning representative from the school works with the sponsors to get the students a job before they graduate! How awesome is that!

These kiddos have special needs but are not being forgotten by the system! I absolutely love this school. Even as I write it, I am tearing up. As a special needs parent, you worry about your child’s quality of living. Don’t get me wrong, I worry about my other kiddos quality of living too. It’s just that they have it a little easier than my child with special needs. My kiddo with special needs doesn’t see the world as it is. He is super smart, but there are a lot of things, even basic things, that he has trouble comprehending. People always say, “Oh. He doesn’t look special needs.” …”Well, Susie Q, he is!” (GRRRR) That’s the problem with society. They think that being special needs is suppose to look a certain way. Just like everything else in life, it comes with diversity.

Sorry, bit of a tangent. (HA)

Anyway, I am just super blessed that my son’s path has crossed with this school. I am super excited to see where the path leads ❤

---

 

Well, I suppose I will leave you all be…for now 😉

Will post more in a bit (And I mean, today, not in a week like I did last time…sorry again)

Happy Reading & XoXO,

S.E.Isaac

❤ ❤ ❤

Zombified

Exhaustion. Pure exhaustion. I need a serious nap or a few months of hibernation. 😦

I can barely keep my eyes open as I type this. My son with mental illnesses woke up at 11 PM. (He went to bed at 8 PM) Throughout the night, I kept waking up to check on him. He was still wide awake each time. He finally went to bed around 9 AM! Then my sugar levels got too high & I crashed. Well, attempted to sleep. Because about the time, I was ready for a nap, he had woken back up and went on a tangent! His mouth was horrible. His actions were horrible. The day was horrible. Trying to manage a household with a special needs kiddo throwing a tangent while you’re zombified is a NIGHTMARE! I mean, in general, the tangents are overwhelming, but it was 10x worse since I was zombified. I am counting down the minutes until their bedtime so I can go to bed too. (He’s being good now, but that’s because his nighttime dose of meds kicked in.)

Anyone else have a zombified day, today?

---

 

On to the next things, I am still working the promotional angle for my paranormal romance novella that released 1st of March. You would think that $0.99 book would call people in to it. However, readers prefer free. I mean, I understand their point. I really do. Free is AMAZING! But a free book isn’t fair to authors because they work very hard on their books. They spend hours writing and making sure that it is perfect for the readers. Plus, if they are like me, they spend money on buying a cover & paying an editor. It adds up, I promise. (Oh. And promotional ads)

My point for this rambling is to ask you readers, who are reading this, what is the most you would pay for an e-book? Paperback? What would make you pay more for a book? Etc. Etc. Spill it. This author girl needs to know! 🙂

---

 

Anyone who is still reading this, who likes paranormal romance here is the link to my book. (HA) Buy Now

 

 

Happy Reading & XoXo,

S.E.Isaac

P.S. Please send sleep!

❤ ❤ ❤

Look what the cat drug in…

Today has been a day from H-E-L-L!!!! My son with special needs woke up at 6 AM with a vengeance! I have had a killer headache since then, except for the 30-60 minutes he managed to chill out. My head is currently throbbing. Just 2.5 more hours until bedtime! 😦 I can do this. At least that is what I keep telling myself!!!! 🙂

 

 

If you are reading this, click the Head Here (after you read this paragraph. lol). Then be sure to hit like on the anthology’s fan page, and then finally sneak over to the Giveaway Tab on the anthology’s page. There is a Hide and Seek giveaway going on. The authors are hiding the links for followers to find & YOU just found one 😉

Head Here

 

Happy Reading, XoXo’s & May The Odds Be In Your Favor,

S.E.Isaac

❤ ❤ ❤

Parenting Solo

Parenting solo & there is no red solo cup involved! <Giant sad face>

So, hubby is still away to Samoa handling family matters, which means the kids are 24-7 under my care. On top of that! The schools here have been out for the past 5 days! And, on top of that! My son with the challenges (autism, mood disorder, and observed for Schizophrenia) is now going through med changes!!! My house has been a war zone. The calm before the storm never came. The storm just keeps coming over and over again. The raindrops are the size of kittens and my umbrella (mind) is filled with holes & frail.

That is me battling my son & his meltdowns

 

People often ask what my life is. That’s easy to explain: Get on a roller coaster blindfolded while you have a killer migraine and try to read a book. Yep! My life is crazy with a capital C. We have good moments (that’s when the roller coaster is going up) and I cherish those moments. However, we have bad moments (That’s when the roller coaster plumages towards the ground and you hope the roller coaster doesn’t derail)

Over the past weeks, due to med changes and med dosage changes, life has been exciting. That’s somewhat sarcastic. My son has been flipping out over the most ridiculous things. I have to walk on eggshells or deal with a pissed off 13-year-old with the strength of a bull on speed. Just yesterday, I didn’t walk on the eggshells, he got pissed off and went on a rampage, which included spitting in my face, calling me HORRID names and tossing his room. Yeah, that was fun. He did throw a few hits in. Mama bear came out then.

I have to remember that he does have special needs and that his body is under a lot of changes (puberty, med changes, etc.); however, it does not excuse his behavior! Verbally assaulting and/or physically assaulting someone is not acceptable. Due to his mindset (comprehensive), consequences vary. What works one day, might not work again for a few months. I have to take it in strides and be a flexible parent. I know there are so many parents/caregivers out there struggling with this day in and day out. Just know that you are not alone. ❤ ❤ ❤

 

Happy Reading and XoXo,

S.E.Isaac

❤ ❤ ❤

Diva Drama

The journey of being an author is not always pleasant. Today’s blog is a behind the curtain of the play ‘Authors’ lives’. Grab your popcorn & buckle up.

I do not expect anyone to be perfect. Hell, no one is. I do not expect people to not have bad days. Hell, everyone has a bad day. What I do expect out of others is respect. Everyone deserves respect; especially, in a professional setting. You don’t have to like me. Hell, some days I don’t like myself. (Shugs!) However, in this professional setting, let’s keep it business and cut out the cattiness. When I join something, anything, I give my all. I don’t half-ass it. There are so many people who half-ass stuff or just outright kiss ass so they don’t have to do their share. The title below should be stamped on some people’s foreheads, so the rest of us know to avoid that person or to bare ass (for those of you who like having your ass kissed).

 

As a somewhat new author, I take risks to learn what works and what works in this author world. This author world can be quite cutthroat and some authors will lead you astray intentionally. I have been lucky enough to find authors who have guided me, in the right direction, and given me knowledge (i.e. Josette Reuel, B. Groves, M.R. Wallace, and so many others). I truly wish that all other authors were like this. I hate the competitiveness and groupie settings that are part of the author world. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect groupies in the author world! One wrong word and these groupies will try to ruin your career. I have seen authors attacked because they go against the grain. Seriously? We are all authors, who share the same passion- writing.

 

The past few weeks, I have been part of hell. I have not spoken up about it, because I was trying to not be unprofessional or a bitch. If indie authors were to learn one thing from me, remember this: before joining anything author related, be sure to do your research. Learn about other authors, that particular group/page, and know when to hit the ‘abort’ button. If you have any feelings that something is wrong, after the third feeling of wanting to hit ‘abort’ just do it. It will save your heartache and headaches down the road 🙂  I have learned the hard way because I was taught to stick through things and figure out a way to make them work. Those days are over. My skin is thicker and the lessons learned. Learn from my mistake…PLEASE! lol

Divas are everywhere, beware.

 

Happy Reading & XoXo,

S.E.Isaac

❤ <3<3

 

 

Crazy world of mental health

The brain is such a complex organ or machine depending on what you want to refer to it as. It is made up of approximately 100 billion neurons!

My son is 13 years old with a diagnosis of autism and mood disorder. Doctors have begun throwing around the diagnosis of ‘early onset schizophrenia’ (often referred to as COS- Childhood-onset Schizophrenia). This post originally was going to be about the connection between the two ASD and COS.; however, after researching, I see that the two have similar traits, but are not correlated to one another. (Hmmm. Fascinating. At least for me.) “One of the hypotheses supporting the similarities in the social and cognitive disturbances of ASD and SSD relates to abnormalities in the ratio of excitatory to inhibitory cortical activity (E/I imbalance).” (Canitano, R., & Pallagrosi, M. 2017) However, this same article goes on to say that the research was shown that 30% of the COS individuals followed had comorbid with ASD.

So what’s the truth? It won’t change the way my son is. It can only give me an answer; perhaps, even a sense of relief to know what goes on in my son’s mind. These answers could also help to find a medication that would be the most beneficial. How would the truth of the correlations between ASD and COS effect you, if your loved one has been diagnosed with one and monitored for the other?

It is such a confusing system- nervous system-the brain. One misfired neurotransmitter or one genetic anomaly & the entire brain can be changed resulting in a mental illness that affects an individual for the rest of their life. My son, regardless of diagnosis of ASD or COS, will always need to be supervised. Even in adulthood, he will need a caregiver to ensure that he is meeting his daily activities (brushing hair, brushing teeth, showering, etc.), ensure he is taking his medication, and ensure that the public is safe from him. By safe, I mean that he has outbursts and locks in on a target. A family member is usually there to redirect him, but that just strengthens my point of him needing supervision.

What are your thoughts on ASD, COS, or any other mental illness?

 

Happy Reading & XoXo

S.E.Isaac

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Canitano R, Pallagrosi M. Autism Spectrum Disorders and Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorders: Excitation/Inhibition Imbalance and Developmental Trajectories. Frontiers in Psychiatry. 2017;8:69. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00069

My life in a blender

Crazy title for this blog, right? It’s true. If you were to take the pieces of my life:

• Being a mother
• Being a mother to a child with autism, mood disorder, and early on-set Schizophrenia
• Constantly getting texts or calls from the school regarding his behavior. He has paranoid early onset Schizophrenia with auditory illusions. The voices used to tell him to make good decisions. Now the voices tell him to make very bad decisions. I am constantly crying over this.
• As though dealing with a special needs child wasn’t enough, I have to deal with myself who is a woman with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. Extreme depression.
• Being a fiance’ to a hardworking ironworker, who busts his ass all day so he is exhausted at night & just wants to relax (Kids don’t make that easy, so I get to play referee to ensure a fair fight in kids vs dad matchup)
• Being an author, who apparently couldn’t sell her book, if her life depended on it (HA!…Seriously, crying)
• Being a military veteran & military support civilian having crewed on helicopters from nearly a decade- my body is destroyed from missions, trainings, and such.
• Being a woman in general & never feeling good enough.
• The list goes on and on…these are just the quick jot downs

We are all struggling with something in our lives. Life isn’t perfect. It wasn’t meant to be perfect. It was meant to help us grow. However, how much growth are we expected to do before life cuts us a break? Am I being selfish for wanting the my blender of a life to be turned off or at least turned to a lower setting? Thoughts?

 

Happy Reading & XoXo

S.E.Isaac

Oh, Happy Monday by the way! ❤

 

 

 

❤ ❤ ❤