As many of you know, I have a child who has special needs. All in which involve mental health. Recently, I have been quiet on my blog because of my family struggles. There is only so much strength you can display before you break. I reached that point. My son just spent a week at a psychiatric facility. They like to call it Treatment Center, but I call it as it is.
The reason for him being there was because of his medication adjustments that were done two weeks ago. Only a few days after the adjustments, his behavior became out of control. Disrobing/Taking off clothes, eloping/running off, sexually inappropriate, paranoid, narcissistic beyond words, the voices came back, and he would become extremely aggressive (both verbally and physically.) At school, he was uncontrollable. He was displaying all of those behaviors and kept having to be restrained. Before you get up in arms, his school is a special school for children with disabilities some of which are like my son’s.
Two weeks ago, on a Monday, my son destroyed his therapist’s office all because my son misunderstood something the therapist had said. The voices had taken over. I ended up having the therapist call 9-1-1 which was a hot mess in itself, because the therapist called in a non-emergency, despite the fact I was restraining my son & begging for help. I waited 30 minutes, in this situation for the police. (was supposed to be ambulance). Anyway, fast forward to the ER, waited over 7 hours and nothing was done at that hospital. In fact, I was lucky enough to have had his medication in my purse, which I administered to him at the normal time. We ended up leaving when the psych facility never replied back saying if they would take my son & when the doctor disappeared.
Fast forward to that Friday. I got a call from the school asking if I could come and give my son his PRN medicine. I showed up and he was out of control. Again, beyond words. I got him to calm down to take his medication & he was okay for about 30 minutes until the voices kicked in again. Then it was a battle again with me having to restrain him. There was a police officer there, but I didn’t want my son hating police again because of being handcuffed so I handled it. My son calmed down for another half an hour. Someone said something to him, the voices caused him to have an explosion. It was so bad that I told them to call 9-1-1. Again, this ended up a hot mess, but we were able to get my son to the ER.
Another seven hours and finally, he was admitted to the psych facility. My mother rushed from Texas to be here for me because like I said at the beginning I no longer had the strength to be strong. (My mother is a goddess. I am so lucky to have her as my mother.)
My son was gone for seven days to get stable on his new medication. He is now home sitting across from me coloring while I have lullaby music on so he can relax. He has had episodes throughout the day. He hasn’t had any physical aggression towards any of us so he has not had to be restrained. I am hoping the rest of the day is like this…no physical aggression.
He goes back to school tomorrow and I am terrified. I am worried about my phone ringing telling me that they had to call the cops again or that someone or he was hurt. He will be self-contained so this should eliminate most of the stimuli; however, with the voices still not completely gone it worries me. Guess it is a waiting game.
My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. Diagnosed with a mood disorder at age eleven, which is the same time puberty kicked in. Now, he is diagnosed as having autism, mood disorder and bipolar. They had psychosis as one but at discharge, they took it off the table. For those of you who don’t know, psychosis is schizophrenia and like symptoms/characteristics. Psychosis isn’t usually officially diagnosed until 18 years of age or older.
With my son’s voices, it really is psychosis. Quite a few doctors and psychiatrists have said so but again 18 years or older is preferable for diagnosing a person as such.
Anyway, I know I am rambling, but I wanted to let the world know what it is like being a parent or caregiver to a person with these disorders/disabilities. It is not easy. Our mentality is beaten over and over. Our body takes a huge toll as well. Our bodies are constantly tense & in ‘fight or flight’ mode. We are restless because we don’t know what will happen next. We, the caregivers, lose strength over time. Yet, we must go on with a smile plastered on our faces because of the person we care for and the world’s judging eyes.
Just remember, we are doing the best we can. We know you mean know well, but saying “You are strong. You will get through this.” is kind of you, but it is only causing us to fake our smile more to prove that we are ‘strong’.
Okay. I will end it here for now. 🙂
Love Always,
S.E. Isaac
Bedtime me (I don’t smoke though 🙂 )
I have seen so many posts on social media with people expressing their sudden anxiety, sadness and/or lack in doing things. I have, also, talked to several friends who have expressed the same problems. You see on shows, when it is summer time, people running around, enjoying the sun, laughing, and having a good time. But it’s just that…a show. In real life, summer is just like the other three seasons. It can bring just as many stressors. I am personally experiencing the anxiety, sadness, and lack in doing things. (Grant it, I do suffer from anxiety and depression- I do take medication for them both- however, this summer my meds aren’t helping much)
Monster in the Cookie Jar 